Kitty blues

I had to wake up by the crack of noon today; my furry alarm clock wouldn't have it any other way. Pet owners will sympathize with this: so there I am, laying in bed, minding my own business when my boyfriend gets up to use the bathroom and leaves the door open just enough for a determined feline to sneak through. The feline hops up on the bed, glares at me with all his might, and says "meooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow!"
I look up at him blankly.
Frustrated with my density he stands up straighter and says "mmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwww!"
I have no idea what it wants at this unglodly hour, so I stuff my head under a pillow and try to go back to sleep. Suddenly I hear cat sized footsteps on the bed and feel something flop down against my back. And then it begins. The cleaning. Loud slurping, toe sucking sounds right by my ear. I peek my head out of the pillow and glare at him.
"You know that's very loud", I tell him pointedly.
He looks at me with the most hatefilled eyes I've ever seen on a cat and makes a strangled sighing sound.
"I imagine you want to eat", I say conversationally.
He reaches over and bites me. I decide that I am on the right track.
I roll out of bed and head for the door. "Fine, I'll feed you. But next time I get a pet its going to be a parakeet".
He looks unconcerned. He knows I'll never get a parakeet. He rises from the bed moving with arrogant grace, confident of his own superiority, and sahsays to the kitchen.
Darned cat.