Sets fire to laptop in pure frustration
I took up writing again. I was on top of the world with my latest piece, very satisfied and all of that, when I went to upload it to a web page and remembered that my laptop and my wireless service are not getting along and that I would have to move my latop to the livingroom for the upload, where I could plug it in to a cord. I had saved my doc four times, so when I went to shut it down and move it (as per my shiny new owners manual) I was unconcerned. When I went to open my file for the upload a minute later, it was gone. I immediately invented new swear words and had several minutes of contemplating throwing either myself, of the laptop through the window. Probably myself. This was the first peice I had been happy with in years, I felt like I was stepping back into myself as I wrote it and then it just...evaporated.
Why didn't I back it up, you ask.
It has no floppy drive, it won't save to cd for some unkown reason, and my portable drive was awol. I do know better than THAT for heavens sakes.
My boyfriend watched the anarchy from our couch, and then tried to help in that meddlesom male way of his wherein it is never enough to listen to the problem, they must attempt a solution (yes, I realize that this is a stereotype and many new age males are excellent listeners-I assure you that he isn't one of them). This led to a scuffle over the laptop, and then me yelling at him for rummaging through my blog documents. He has no idea that this blog exists. I like it that way. Fortunately he had his "I am 1950's male watch me tinker" game face on, so I doubt he noticed what he was reading.
He finally concluded, he thought brillantly, that I had simply saved it wrong. User error, end of story. As it happens, I saved it at least four times while I was writing it. Did I accidentally NOT save it right FOUR TIMES, I with my journalism background and depressingly long college education?
I think not. Yes, Occahm's razor demands that I accept the user error explanation, but I was there. I saved. It even asked me if I wanted to replace the previous document, and I clicked yes every time. I closed it, I brought it back up. It was there. And then it wasn't. Now I'm getting woman who saw aliens treatment, in the sense that my Best Beloved assures me that my document is not gone through technological breakdown, but because I was stupid. Though he is much too smart to phrase it that way. I've pointed out before that it's not good to piss of the person who sleeps next to you, particualry when that person is me.
For someone who knows his every secret and who he claims to trust with his very heart and soul, I get very little credibility. I don't think he fully realizes that a good percentage of the time he's quite the neanderthal. For example, soon after we hooked up I was saying something feministy (ie seperating me from a doormat-can't remember where I heard that but it's a qoute). He looked at me with genuine shock and said, "oh my God, your're a feminist?" like feminist was a dirty word. I pointedly asked him how pathetic the women in his family were to have let him grow up thinking that feminism was a bad thing. He took my point.
Another time he actually slapped my rear in public, and was truly appalled when I just as publicly whirled around and asked him if I was a hooker. He looked from side to side and said "no" before I told him not to treat me like one. He tried to explain that his Dad did it in public to his Mom as a sign of affection. I replied that that sounded like her problem, not mine.
When someone cracked a joke about the two of us getting married and he called me Mrs.hislastname I felt compelled to point out that I had no intention of changing my last name. In fact the thought that I would be expected to had never crossed my mind. I was just as shocked that he assumed I would as he was when he learned that I assumed I wouldn't. We had a hypothetical argument about our hypothetical marriage. It was silly, but I really hate losing. So does he.
Why am I still here and not on the prowl, looking for sensitive new aged guys?
I happen to like this one. He has his good points. For example, he looks like Albrecht Durher in his 1500 self portrait down to the green eyes. I always loved that painting. And he's terribly funny. And smart. And when you peel away the layers of his poor communication skills, he's actually very kind and well meaning. He's got the whole package, its just in an unexpected wrapper.
And then there is the fact that the first time we spoke I knew that I was talking to the other half of me, and he knew the same. Have you ever felt a pull to someone so strong that you couldn't ignore it? It was that pull. I have never felt anthing like it before or since. I knew within a week that he belonged in my life. I just didn't know in what capacity, and that limbo lasted three years.
And there is the added incentive that we make each other think. They say that you can't change someone, and this is true. But you can convince them to let go of an outmoded idea that is false and doesn't really suit them anyway. So far I've won on rear slapping and feminism, and he's won on me talking to his family (I hate families) and bedmaking (I would never bother). We're housebreaking each other slowly.
Now to work on the issue of my credibilty.....
Which begs the question, what issue does he have in mind to work on with me?
Why didn't I back it up, you ask.
It has no floppy drive, it won't save to cd for some unkown reason, and my portable drive was awol. I do know better than THAT for heavens sakes.
My boyfriend watched the anarchy from our couch, and then tried to help in that meddlesom male way of his wherein it is never enough to listen to the problem, they must attempt a solution (yes, I realize that this is a stereotype and many new age males are excellent listeners-I assure you that he isn't one of them). This led to a scuffle over the laptop, and then me yelling at him for rummaging through my blog documents. He has no idea that this blog exists. I like it that way. Fortunately he had his "I am 1950's male watch me tinker" game face on, so I doubt he noticed what he was reading.
He finally concluded, he thought brillantly, that I had simply saved it wrong. User error, end of story. As it happens, I saved it at least four times while I was writing it. Did I accidentally NOT save it right FOUR TIMES, I with my journalism background and depressingly long college education?
I think not. Yes, Occahm's razor demands that I accept the user error explanation, but I was there. I saved. It even asked me if I wanted to replace the previous document, and I clicked yes every time. I closed it, I brought it back up. It was there. And then it wasn't. Now I'm getting woman who saw aliens treatment, in the sense that my Best Beloved assures me that my document is not gone through technological breakdown, but because I was stupid. Though he is much too smart to phrase it that way. I've pointed out before that it's not good to piss of the person who sleeps next to you, particualry when that person is me.
For someone who knows his every secret and who he claims to trust with his very heart and soul, I get very little credibility. I don't think he fully realizes that a good percentage of the time he's quite the neanderthal. For example, soon after we hooked up I was saying something feministy (ie seperating me from a doormat-can't remember where I heard that but it's a qoute). He looked at me with genuine shock and said, "oh my God, your're a feminist?" like feminist was a dirty word. I pointedly asked him how pathetic the women in his family were to have let him grow up thinking that feminism was a bad thing. He took my point.
Another time he actually slapped my rear in public, and was truly appalled when I just as publicly whirled around and asked him if I was a hooker. He looked from side to side and said "no" before I told him not to treat me like one. He tried to explain that his Dad did it in public to his Mom as a sign of affection. I replied that that sounded like her problem, not mine.
When someone cracked a joke about the two of us getting married and he called me Mrs.hislastname I felt compelled to point out that I had no intention of changing my last name. In fact the thought that I would be expected to had never crossed my mind. I was just as shocked that he assumed I would as he was when he learned that I assumed I wouldn't. We had a hypothetical argument about our hypothetical marriage. It was silly, but I really hate losing. So does he.
Why am I still here and not on the prowl, looking for sensitive new aged guys?
I happen to like this one. He has his good points. For example, he looks like Albrecht Durher in his 1500 self portrait down to the green eyes. I always loved that painting. And he's terribly funny. And smart. And when you peel away the layers of his poor communication skills, he's actually very kind and well meaning. He's got the whole package, its just in an unexpected wrapper.
And then there is the fact that the first time we spoke I knew that I was talking to the other half of me, and he knew the same. Have you ever felt a pull to someone so strong that you couldn't ignore it? It was that pull. I have never felt anthing like it before or since. I knew within a week that he belonged in my life. I just didn't know in what capacity, and that limbo lasted three years.
And there is the added incentive that we make each other think. They say that you can't change someone, and this is true. But you can convince them to let go of an outmoded idea that is false and doesn't really suit them anyway. So far I've won on rear slapping and feminism, and he's won on me talking to his family (I hate families) and bedmaking (I would never bother). We're housebreaking each other slowly.
Now to work on the issue of my credibilty.....
Which begs the question, what issue does he have in mind to work on with me?
posted by jen at 2:23 AM
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