Insomnia....crap
The sad side effect of pulling all nighters every week for a month is that eventually every night becomes an all nighter. And I've studied til I just can't do it. Obviously it is finally blog time.
One of my nieces is about to turn fifteen. This gives me an unpleasantly old feeling. In conjunction with my grey hairs, worry crinkle, and general old used uppedness I'm feeling damned near geriatric.
A few years ago my sister contacted me in the dead of morning to ask me if I would make some time for my neice and be the official "cool older relative" . I recall that I was lounging around in my best grungy rubber ducky pajama pants and that my greasy hair was plastered upright at attention. I was also gnawing on a little debbie snack cake and standing in front of the livingroom mirror admiring the carnage from my late night of watching internet cartoons. There were crumbs down the front of my shirt, which was also grungy and said "Deart Artie, hate you, hate Camelt, took Lance-Gwennie."
"I don't think I'm exactly cool older relative material", I told her with my customary morning bluntness. "You should ask Lee".
Lee is our new potential sister in law, who is a bisexual wiccan and dresses like every day is a renfaire or an excursion to Hot Topic. Bisexual wiccan versus greasy crumb girl? In this day and age I lose in the coolness area.
"Last time I left her with Lee I came back and she had the brat and four of her friends cursing one of the neigbors".
"Oh." Apparently Lee wasn't a particualry good wiccan. And then, because I had to ask, "what kind of curse?"
"The kind that got me phone calls from the other parents" she said darkly.
My sister is also Wiccan and tries to keep the little ones out of it. She lives in the only California extension of the Bible belt. I suddenly recalled that all of the cool older relatives that I had were extremely polished looking and had those cute matching shoe and purse sets; I looked down at my bitten up nails.
"Does this mean that I have to get shoe and purse sets?" I like starting these thoughts in the middle with my sister. It makes her so frustrated.
"Uhm....no."
"What do I do?"
"Just talk to her about stuff. Hang out with her. Give her an adult that isn't me to advise her."
Oh. That. "So pretty much I just buy her ice cream and tell her not to smoke pot or sleep with boys."
"Er..." I love frustrating my sister. It needs to be restated. "Among other things".
"I'm screwing with you. I knw what you want, and really, its no problem".
As it turns out, it really wasn't. All I have to do is let her play with my cd collection, wear my formals aroung the house and watch my Buffy the Vampire Slayer collection; it works itself out. I was just adapting to her being fourteen. Now she had to throw a wrench in my works by turning fifteen. How dare she.
Next thing you know she'll be sixteen.
Obviously this is a conspiracy against me personally, and not part of the natural ageing process.
And on top of the emotional trauma of suddenly finding out that I've gotten old, I have to think up a gift.
One of my nieces is about to turn fifteen. This gives me an unpleasantly old feeling. In conjunction with my grey hairs, worry crinkle, and general old used uppedness I'm feeling damned near geriatric.
A few years ago my sister contacted me in the dead of morning to ask me if I would make some time for my neice and be the official "cool older relative" . I recall that I was lounging around in my best grungy rubber ducky pajama pants and that my greasy hair was plastered upright at attention. I was also gnawing on a little debbie snack cake and standing in front of the livingroom mirror admiring the carnage from my late night of watching internet cartoons. There were crumbs down the front of my shirt, which was also grungy and said "Deart Artie, hate you, hate Camelt, took Lance-Gwennie."
"I don't think I'm exactly cool older relative material", I told her with my customary morning bluntness. "You should ask Lee".
Lee is our new potential sister in law, who is a bisexual wiccan and dresses like every day is a renfaire or an excursion to Hot Topic. Bisexual wiccan versus greasy crumb girl? In this day and age I lose in the coolness area.
"Last time I left her with Lee I came back and she had the brat and four of her friends cursing one of the neigbors".
"Oh." Apparently Lee wasn't a particualry good wiccan. And then, because I had to ask, "what kind of curse?"
"The kind that got me phone calls from the other parents" she said darkly.
My sister is also Wiccan and tries to keep the little ones out of it. She lives in the only California extension of the Bible belt. I suddenly recalled that all of the cool older relatives that I had were extremely polished looking and had those cute matching shoe and purse sets; I looked down at my bitten up nails.
"Does this mean that I have to get shoe and purse sets?" I like starting these thoughts in the middle with my sister. It makes her so frustrated.
"Uhm....no."
"What do I do?"
"Just talk to her about stuff. Hang out with her. Give her an adult that isn't me to advise her."
Oh. That. "So pretty much I just buy her ice cream and tell her not to smoke pot or sleep with boys."
"Er..." I love frustrating my sister. It needs to be restated. "Among other things".
"I'm screwing with you. I knw what you want, and really, its no problem".
As it turns out, it really wasn't. All I have to do is let her play with my cd collection, wear my formals aroung the house and watch my Buffy the Vampire Slayer collection; it works itself out. I was just adapting to her being fourteen. Now she had to throw a wrench in my works by turning fifteen. How dare she.
Next thing you know she'll be sixteen.
Obviously this is a conspiracy against me personally, and not part of the natural ageing process.
And on top of the emotional trauma of suddenly finding out that I've gotten old, I have to think up a gift.
posted by jen at 1:14 AM
1 Comments:
Buffy is like crack for sheer addictive power. Firefly was created by the same guy and it is also awesome.
43 isn't old. twenty four is pretty good unless you have a sulky teenaged girl asking if you rode a dinosour to school and referring to your music as "old school". ick. If i'm going to be made to feel this old I at least want discounts.
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