My best friend is a 24 year old man who weighs 280 pounds and dresses like Mr Rogers. He is, in a word, geeky. To elaborate, hopelessly geeky. At least, on the outside. But he's happy that way, so it all sort of works. Where it really bites him in the ass is in the arena of dating.
You see, my hopelessly geeky manfriend is also a magnet for crazy women. I know everyone sometimes feels like a crazy magnet. However, until you have dated someone that you report seemed perfectly normal only to find out that they believe that the dragons of Pern live in your dorm bathroom and communicate telepathically only with you (which is how you know they're there because they are invisible) you really can't compete. Another one thought that she was a changeling (as in the rpg) in a previous life and that her ability to turn into a cat in that life left her with residual magical powers that evil people called "hunters" pursued (which he laughed at until he was telling his Mom the story and some guy claiming to be a hunter demanded with great intensity to know where this "changeling" was). Yet another one claimed that they had to break up because she and her 36 year old exboyfriend were two halves of an angel and the world would literally collapse if they didn't get back together; afterwards every time he went to the dorm food line she chewed him out for stalking her.
So when he started seeing a 42 year old polyamorous woman I was pretty concerned. But I got over it, because so far she's brought him the least misery of anybody else. My manfriend is weird, so it fits that he would be happiest in a relationship that is out of the norm. The problem is that she lies compulsively to me. At first there was this whole drama where he didn't want to tell me that they were involved, but they actually were. So she kept cornering me pretending to be disturbed by her feelings for him to gauge my reaction. I actually understand this, because she was deciding what they could tell me without me freaking out. If it had ended there I'd get it. But instead, after I said I didn't care, she kept pulling me aside with all the histrionics of a Barnum and Bailey circus, carrying the charade to the max until she persuaded him to tell me the truth. And then even after, she kept pulling me aside with massive histrionics to tell me that she was disturbed by the age difference. Another lie, according to my friend, who said that the issue was always thoroughly hashed out. It seems like she just did it to make me think better of her, little realizing that the fastest track to my shit list is manipulating me.I've been keeping my peace because it's not my love life, and if she brings him some joy I'm not going to do a thing to stop it. But the fact that I avoid her is grating on his nerves. We talked about it tonight, because he wants to go on a trip, the four of us (him, her, me, mine)-its the annual trip we used to take together and she sort of commandeered it. There's a hint of jealousy there but I'm keeping it to a dull buzz (mantra: she makes him happy, she makes him happy). Bottom line, I can't trust a single word that comes out of her mouth as 90% of them are lies, and he's pretty determined that we should bump into each other at all opportunities. I sooooooo hate dating drama.
You see, my hopelessly geeky manfriend is also a magnet for crazy women. I know everyone sometimes feels like a crazy magnet. However, until you have dated someone that you report seemed perfectly normal only to find out that they believe that the dragons of Pern live in your dorm bathroom and communicate telepathically only with you (which is how you know they're there because they are invisible) you really can't compete. Another one thought that she was a changeling (as in the rpg) in a previous life and that her ability to turn into a cat in that life left her with residual magical powers that evil people called "hunters" pursued (which he laughed at until he was telling his Mom the story and some guy claiming to be a hunter demanded with great intensity to know where this "changeling" was). Yet another one claimed that they had to break up because she and her 36 year old exboyfriend were two halves of an angel and the world would literally collapse if they didn't get back together; afterwards every time he went to the dorm food line she chewed him out for stalking her.
So when he started seeing a 42 year old polyamorous woman I was pretty concerned. But I got over it, because so far she's brought him the least misery of anybody else. My manfriend is weird, so it fits that he would be happiest in a relationship that is out of the norm. The problem is that she lies compulsively to me. At first there was this whole drama where he didn't want to tell me that they were involved, but they actually were. So she kept cornering me pretending to be disturbed by her feelings for him to gauge my reaction. I actually understand this, because she was deciding what they could tell me without me freaking out. If it had ended there I'd get it. But instead, after I said I didn't care, she kept pulling me aside with all the histrionics of a Barnum and Bailey circus, carrying the charade to the max until she persuaded him to tell me the truth. And then even after, she kept pulling me aside with massive histrionics to tell me that she was disturbed by the age difference. Another lie, according to my friend, who said that the issue was always thoroughly hashed out. It seems like she just did it to make me think better of her, little realizing that the fastest track to my shit list is manipulating me.I've been keeping my peace because it's not my love life, and if she brings him some joy I'm not going to do a thing to stop it. But the fact that I avoid her is grating on his nerves. We talked about it tonight, because he wants to go on a trip, the four of us (him, her, me, mine)-its the annual trip we used to take together and she sort of commandeered it. There's a hint of jealousy there but I'm keeping it to a dull buzz (mantra: she makes him happy, she makes him happy). Bottom line, I can't trust a single word that comes out of her mouth as 90% of them are lies, and he's pretty determined that we should bump into each other at all opportunities. I sooooooo hate dating drama.
posted by jen at 11:15 PM
2 Comments:
Reading this makes me so, so grateful to already be married. Your poor pal! But, I know what you mean about trying to stay out of it if he says she makes him happy.
Personally, I think she's not the best nut he's brought home so far. But if he's happy I'm shutting up. It is just sometimes so painful. My tongue is bleeding from all of the biting.
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